87. Your mother calls you to ask if your friend and former roommate (whom she's met) is "a trans" after seeing said friend on one of the three Discovery Health Channel trans documentaries she's seen in the past week.
---> 87.5. Bonus points if you have to explain that your friend is MTF, not FTM.
-----> 87.75. Super bonus points if she then reiterates her opinion that said friend "doesn't look mannish at all" (an opinion she'd expressed before, when she thought your friend was only a dyke), and follows it up with "tell her 'well done.' " (To said friend - and you know who you are - my mom says "well done." Apparently, she still thinks you're a hottie.)
88. Your mom (in the same conversation) says, "What they didn't say in any of the documentaries was - well - for men - you know - whether ... it ... works," and you end up spending seven minutes explaining various aspects of FTM medical transition as you hear her blanching on the other end of the line.
---> 88.5. Bonus points if you then have to explain why it's a safety advantage to be able to pee with one's feet facing the right direction.
----> 88.75. Super bonus points if you have to figure out how to get off the phone before she asks you to detail how various trans people you know have sex and pee.
I suppose I should be grateful she's asking non-hostile, somewhat-informed questions. (And I only had to correct her on pronouns once!!) I just wish I didn't have to be there when it happened...